"Captivating"

Almost every night over the past few weeks, I have been reading a book entitled, "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. Generally I devour the books I read in long sittings, but I have had to chew on this one and just ingest a chapter or even a half a chapter at a time. Maybe because the issues that are addressed within this book lead me to a vulnerability level that requires a "processing time". I am only a little over half way through, but I hear the Lord speaking directly to specific issues and bringing understanding and encouragement.

This book reveals three core desires that God intentionally placed within women - the desire to be romanced and pursued, the desire to play an irreplaceable role in a shared adventure, and the desire to unveil beauty. Read an excerpt from the introduction:
"The message of Captivating is this: The longings God has written deep in your heart are telling you something essential about what is means to be a woman, and the life He meant for you to live...You can find that life-if you are willing to embark on a great adventure....Not to learn one more set of standards you fail to meet. Not toward a new set of rules to live by and things you ought to do. Something far, far better - a journey of the heart. A journey toward the restoration and release of the woman you always longed to be....(this book) is not about what you ought to do or who you ought to be. It's about discovering who you already are, as a woman. A woman who at her core was made for romance, made to play an irreplaceable role in a shared adventure, and who really does possess a beauty all her own to unveil."

Part of the chapter I read tonight was particularly articulating of the current and seemingly (unending?) season of my life - waiting. This was so encouraging: "As we increasingly become women of substance, women who offer true beauty, we find that our hearts grow in their capacity to love and be loved, to desire, to live. Our hearts are enlarged by Jesus. By that, we mean that we must be willing to be honest with Him and with ourselves about the true nature of our souls - our sorrows, our desires, our dreams, our fears, our deepest and scariest hopes. To invite Jesus to come and walk with us there....We do not always get what we want, but that doesn't mean that we no longer want...Living in true beauty can require much waiting, much time, much tenacity in spirit. We must constantly direct our gazes toward the face of God, even in the presence of longing and sorrow. It is in the waiting (with Him) that our hearts are enlarged. The waiting doesn't diminish us. As a pregnant woman is enlarged in her waiting, so are our hearts. God does not always rescue us out of a painful season. He does not always give to us what we so desperately want when we want it. He is after something much more valuable than our happiness. Much more substantive than our health. He is restoring and growing in us an eternal weight of glory."

Journal Excerpt

I was rereading today in the book I read during my flight to Africa. I was struck again by this statement:

“Paradigms power perception and perceptions power emotions. Most emotions are responses to perception - what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So check your perceptions, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms - what you believe. Just because you believe firmly doesn’t make it true. Be willing to reexamine what you believe. The more you live in the Truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly…” Excerpt from The Shack

So many times I find my emotions dictating my actions and reactions - good or bad. I take my eyes off the Truth and settle for my own interpretation of circumstances and situations based on my own perception, which may or may not line up with the Truth. This applies to my time here in Africa, to my work and career, to the way I interact with people, and even how I view myself.

Father, I thank you for this reminder so kindly given to me today. I repent of living too often out of my own misaligned emotions rather than responding in agreement to Your truth. I invite You to continue dealing with and adjusting my perceptions and the motives of my heart. I ask for Your ability and grace to respond rather than react, and eyes to see and embrace Truth and walk it out in my own life.