"You Know You're a Nurse When...."

Ok, I didn't come up with these but received it as a forwarded email. I laughed sooooo hard!

You know you're a nurse when..

1) the front of your scrubs reads "Nurses... here to save your ass, not kiss it!"
2) you occasionally park in the space with the "physicians only" sign...and knock it over.
3) you believe some patients are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4) you recognize that you can't cure stupid.
5) you own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them.
6) you believe there's a special place in hell for the inventor of thecall light.
7) you believe that saying "it can't get any worse" causes it to get worse just to show you it can.
8) you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
9) you believe that any job where you can drive to work in your pajamas is a cool one.
10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
12) you've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.
13) you've ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring, and twelve earrings say "I'm afraid of shots."
14) you've ever placed a bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
15) you've told a confused patient that your name is that of a coworker and to call if they need help.
16) your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago's water tank.
17) you have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.
18) you believe that not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.
19) your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.
20) you don't get excited about blood, unless it's your own.